The Headline in our local newspaper this morning reads: ‘World’s First Female Sex Dug could Spur Similar Meds’
Reading this morning about a new little pink pill that has hit the market, makes me angry that we, as a society feel the need to put a ‘Drug Band-aid’ on a sexual challenge like a woman’s low sex drive. What about all the other possible reasons for low sex drive in women. What about a husband or boyfriend that has stopped courting her? Or stopped asking her what turns her on? Or doesn’t listen when she shares what does? Or listen at all? Or hasn’t noticed that her body and her arousal has shifted through menopause and/or added life stress?
And, I’m certainly not blaming it all on the men! What about a woman who has never learned enough about her sexual arousal to even know what does turn her on, or if she has some knowledge of the ‘what’, how to communicate it? Or a woman who has experienced sexual, emotional, or physical trauma that has been stored in her Yoni (sexual center)? What about a woman who has shifted hormonally, and hasn’t quite caught up with or explored those shifts herself?
I’m not anti Western Medicine. I believe that there is a time, place, and need for meds. And, I believe that they are often overused as a quick fix. To fix the symptoms and not address the cause. To alter our brain chemistry through meds can have short term successes, as well as long term negative effects. Altering our brain chemistry through a gentle, compassionate, and centuries proven practice, can have short and long term successes and positive effects. In and out of the bedroom!
One woman, quoted in the paper, was prescribed this pill, after her doctor first suggested using a vibrator and that didn’t work. Let’s see…the order here was 1.) Low Sex Drive, 2.) Vibrator, 3.) Pink Pill. Hello? Where was the suggestion to explore her relationship with herself and or connect with her partner? To self pleasure and self love and find where sensation is and how to spread that sensation to her genitals, connected to her heart? To be given permission to fill any trauma stuck in her body and release it, so that she has more space to invite pleasure in? To learn skills of how communicate what she likes? To invite breath and sound into her body to feel and transmit energy? To teach her partner, if she has one, how to touch slowly and with consciousness? So many techniques and practices that can and do work. I’ve/we’ve experienced them. I’ve/we’ve coached them. With patience, practice, and commitment! And a desire to shift a paradigm of ‘goal oriented’ sexual experience.
Yes, this drug will, more than likely, make the drug company (ies) lots and lots of money, and open the door to many other drugs that target ‘fixing’ our sex drive and desire. And what will we learn from this? Will this change how we feel, explore, expand, and celebrate our body/mind connection? Will it improve communication and connection? Will we increase intimacy? Will we honor aging and changing and kindness towards ourselves and each other?
If we want that learning, it’s not in a Pink Pill. It’s in getting to know our bodies, minds, and spirits. It’s in a practice of Tantra and Sacred Sexuality!